Betty was inconsolable. One moment the MILF next door was pregnant and the next she wasn't. Her grief nearly destroyed her. If it hadn't been for me helping her out, she would've spiraled even further.

But cooking, cleaning and helping around the house wasn't the only way in which she needed help. She needed help expressing her engorged, veiny melons. If only she'd let me…

Perhaps she'd even return the favor.