The Courage to be Disliked meets The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: an essential, inspirational, wise and forgiving book that will liberate the people pleaser inside us all.

This book will teach you how to be you

We all know how it feels to want people to like us, to approve of us, to accept us. It’s part of what makes us human. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to support other people and help them satisfy their needs.

The problem comes when we give up our own needs along the way.

Because when we give to make others like us or approve of us, to shore up our own sense of self-worth, to feel needed or to avoid painful emotions, then we give to get. And rarely do we get what we really need.

Emma Reed Turrell works with people pleasers every day in her clinical practice as a psychotherapist – clients wrestling with the complicated dilemmas of a life in which you can’t please everyone, but you don’t yet have the permission you need to please yourself.

In this groundbreaking, reassuring and essential book she presents an alternative to people-pleasing. Through the stories of people-pleasers across all walks of life she offers insights and techniques that will help you understand yourself more fully and live more authentically.

It will help you get better at being disliked, instead of staying quiet. It will help you recover instead of fearing failure. It will teach you acceptance instead of avoidance and show you how to grow instead of staying small.

Above all it will help you care better for others, without taking on their problems, through caring better for yourself.

Reviews

'Utterly brilliant. Emma Reed-Turrell is a wonderful writer, a compassionate guide and the therapist we all long for. Every page of Please Yourself contains a truth bomb; every sentence a golden nugget of wisdom. If you're a people-pleaser (and you probably are) this book will change your life. My only regret is that it didn't exist earlier as it would have saved me – and everyone else – a whole lot of bother’ Elizabeth Day, author of How to Fail

‘As a recovering people-pleaser who often falls back into its tempting trap, I absolutely loved this book. Informative, entertaining and empowering’ Emma Gannon, author of Olive

‘A helpful, reassuring book that will give you insight into discovering your no is even more valuable than your yes. And in discovering it you'll find you like yourself more and others will too…’ Julia Samuel, author of This Too Shall Pass

‘Realistic, non-judgemental and genuinely helpful: your one way ticket to growing a backbone. It took me decades to learn why I people pleased and how to stop. Thanks to Emma Reed Turrell, you don’t need to wait that long’ Sam Baker, author of The Shift

About the author

Emma Reed Turrell grew up in Portsmouth and went on to read English at Cambridge University. Following ten years working in business, in sales and marketing roles, Emma returned to her earlier passion for psychology and mental health. That took her on the path to becoming a counsellor. She now runs a busy private practice alongside writing and training. Emma lives in Winchester with her husband, two children and golden retriever.